Dwight Howard’s first stint with the Los Angeles Lakers was certainly one to forget as his arrival to L.A. was tainted by chemistry issues and injuries to numerous notable players on the roster. Not to mention, Howard didn’t have the best chemistry with Kobe Bryant, who later called Howard “soft” as a member of the Houston Rockets. Now, Howard is back on the Lakers and is having a career resurgence as he is used as a role player who can make big plays for you down the stretch.

Recently, Howard hopped on Instagram live with Lakers teammate Jared Dudley, where he spoke about his first sting with the Lakers and why it didn’t work out. As reporter Melissa Rohlin transcribed, Howard said that egos and his desire to be “the man” got in the way.

“I know that I approached that season wanting to be the best version of myself and also the man. You know, I’m young, I just felt like that at the time,” Howard said. “It was really hard for me and Kobe to really communicate. I think we were just at two different stages.”

Howard also admitted that he cried in the bathroom of the Lakers’ team plane when he found out that Kobe had passed away. Despite their differences, Kobe had a massive impact on Howard’s life, and he was deeply saddened by Bryant’s death.

Howard and the Lakers are playing this season in Kobe’s honor and hopefully, they are able to finish out the season sooner rather than later.