Young Thug has a dirty penis. That's at least what he told fans on Instagram this week.
The rapper went on a lengthy rant regarding the difficultly he has maintaining a clean penis. He explains that no matter how frequently he baths, his penis comes out dirty every time. Check out the full transcript of his absurd Instagram story below:
I don't even have sex every day. So, like OK, yesterday, I woke up at like 5:00 in the evening. I took a bath at 5:30. Today I woke up at 2:00, I took a bath at 2:00. So that means I took a bath 12 hours ago. Every time I take a bath, my body be clean. But every time I wash my dick there be dirt on it. But I ain't have sex, I ain't do nothing. I ain't eat shit. I just go chill. Might go to Dukem's spot chill, go home go to sleep. Next day, I wake up take a bath, my dick be dirty. There always be dirt on the top. I think I just got a permanently dirty dick.
Young Thug is fresh off a new collaborative mixtape with Chris Brown, which you can check out here.
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Penis Prank Text Photographer Wants Late Model’s Family To Profit From Merch
The photographer who took the photo of a well-endowed porn star that’s been turned into a pandemic prank meme wants the late model’s family to profit from merch.
A photo of a man with a huge package has been turned into a coronavirus pandemic prank of sorts and has even been used on new merchandise, and the photographer of the image wants the late porn star’s family to benefit from the merch sales. If that isn’t the wildest sentence you’ve ever read, then we don’t know what is. It’s quite possible that you’re familiar with the aforementioned prank, whether you were the perpetrator or the victim of the surprise schlong. People are attempting to bright the dark pandemic mood by sending friends and (hopefully not) family articles that claim to contain vital information about coronavirus, but when the unsuspecting recipient clicks on the link, it takes them to a photo of a shockingly well-endowed man.
TMZ
As is the case with most Internet sensations, the viral meme has already been plastered on T-shirts and other merch by websites like Barstool Sports. However, according to TMZ, the photographer of the X-rated shot, Pantheon Productions owner Walter Smith, has some thoughts on where some of the profits should go.
Walter says he took the picture back in 2009 for an unnamed porn site and now owns the rights to the photo. The subject of the shot went by the name “Wood,” although Walter clarifies that that was not actually his real name. We say “was” because “Wood” unfortunately passed away back in 2016. Walter does not feel it’s his place to give out Wood’s true identity, but he would like to see Wood’s surviving family members make some money off of the sales of the merch that bears the likeness of their late relative. He has even offered to put vendors in touch with Wood’s family if they wished to donate some of the proceeds to them. What a kind gesture from Mr. Smith.
French Soccer Player Bites Rival’s Penis, Lengthy Suspension Ensues
You can't be doing that.
No man should ever bite another man's private parts. While this is a rule that probably shouldn't be spoken about, there are times where it bears repeating because of the few people who do it, out of sheer ignorance. Back in November, an amateur French soccer game occurred between Terville and Soetrich. At one point, two players began to get into an altercation. That's when a Terville player stepped in to break things up. According to Sports Illustrated, the Soetrich player retaliated by biting the interfering player on the penis.
The Terville player was rushed to hospital where he got 12 stitches to close up the wound. After months of deliberation, the soccer governing body for the league ruled that the player who committed the foul act would be suspended for five years.
What's interesting about this whole ordeal is the fact that the victim has been suspended until June 30th of this year. According to the report, his conduct in the parking lot after the game was deemed inappropriate, hence the suspension. To be fair, if you get your private parts bit, you're not going to be very happy about it.
Needless to say, this league has a lot to worry about moving forward.
Harvey Weinstein Allegedly Sent Chocolate Penises To "Sopranos’" Annabella Sciorra
Allegedly, Harvey Weinstein sent “Sopranos” actress Annabella Sciorra a bag of chocolate d*cks.
Sopranos actress, Annabella Sciorra, took the stand today (Jan. 23) as a victim in the criminal sexual assault case against Harvey Weinstein. During Sciorra’s testimony, the True Love actress claims that Weinstein sent her care package complete with movies, Valium, and chocolate candy in the shape of penises.
Spencer Platt/Getty Images
Sciorra claims that Weinstein sent her the peculiar care package in response to casting her in multiple Miramax movies he was producing in the early 1990s. The now 57-year-old actress revealed that she was stressed because Weinstein wanted her to film back-to-back productions. According to Sciorra’s testimony obtained by PageSix, Sciorra called the gesture, “an effort to help me relax and not be so stressed.”
The first care package containing popcorn, licorice, movies, and Valium arrived at her Central Park West apartment. Prosecutor, Joan Illuzzi-Orbon, then asked Sciorra if he had sent any additional ‘packages’ to her apartment to which she replied “Yes.” Sciorra continued detailed the contents of the package saying:
“It was a box of chocolate penises … I thought it was disgusting and inappropriate.”
Annabella Sciorra is one of three women claiming that Harvey Weinstein sexually assaulted her and the first to take the stand against her alleged rapist. Sciorra claims that Weinstein raped her in her own apartment then proceeded to forcibly perform oral sex on the Brooklyn-bred actress in 1993 (or) 1994.
With Weinstein currently being charged with two counts of predatory sexual assault, two counts of rape, and one count of criminal sex acts, he’s staring at a maximum sentencing of life in prison. And with his accusers boldly coming forward and testifying against the former super-producer, it looks like Weinstein could never see a day of freedom again if convicted.
Check out the demoralizing footage of Anna Sciorra and Harvey Weinstein entering the Manhattan Supreme Court earlier today in the video provided below.
Titans’ Coach Mike Vrabel Reneges On Claim To Cut Penis Off
Vrabel would like to clarify his past statement on the topic.
Titans head coach Mike Vrabel has taken the time to clarify that he will not be cutting his penis off if his team wins the Super Bowl.
Over the summer, when the Titans' Super Bowl hopes were merely a long shot, Vrabel appeared on the Bussin’ with the Boys podcast and said he would cut his dick off for a Super Bowl. Below, is a transcription.
Lewan: Matt Neely (an assistant for the show) said he would cut off his dick for a, uno, Super Bowl, and I said, No I would not do that. Would you cut your dick off for a Super Bowl?
Vrabel: Been married 20 years. Yeah, probably.
With the Titans now only two wins away from being Super Bowl champions, many fans are wondering if he'll follow through on the statement. Sports Illustrated's Charlotte Wilder asked Vrabel about it after the Titans win over the Ravens.
"Listen, I didn’t want to disappoint Taylor and Will when I went on the podcast," Vrabel told Wilder. "I knew they were gonna ask me things that probably, if I just clammed up, [the show] wouldn't be very fun. So I tried to make it as fun as possible."
The Titans will play the winner of the Chiefs-Texans matchup next weekend.