Kevin Hart is in quarantine, as well, in wake of this coronavirus madness that’s been claiming headlines for the past few weeks. However, in a time when things are seeming quite dark, he’s still here to spread some light, even if it comes at his expense. The comedian began a new series on his Instagram page called “Confessions From The Hart” where he’ll be sharing a few stories to bring some much-needed laughter in our lives.
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Today’s story surrounded a show he had in Scandina one time where he had a bit of an accident in his pants mid-performance. Explaining that he ate some bad chicken (that was actually raw), he had stomach problems but still showed up to the venue 45 minutes before his set. “We get there. I’m in the back. I’m sitting on the toilet,” he said. After being called on to the stage, he drinks water and ginger ale and hits the stage.
“I get onstage. I start performing. I’m midway through and I don’t feel bad,” he continued. “I get to, like, my last seven minutes of my set. Bloop bloop. I feel it in my stomach. ‘Oh no. Don’t do this to me. Don’t you fuckin’ do this to me. C’mon, Kevin. Finish.’ I go to tell my joke… My stomach is now on my mind. I’m like, ‘Oh my God. Oh my God, it’s gon’ happen.’… I can’t end the show because of the joke. It’s like, this is my last joke. So I start trying to speed through the joke… I can’t do it. I can’t. And I’m cramped up to the point where I can’t even walk. So I’m like holdin’ this tight ass pose while I got the microphone and I said ‘fuck it.’ I just said, ‘Fuck it.’ Bap bap. Shitted on myself. Right on stage. Got off stage and was like, ‘Oh, well.’ Went to the bathroom. Took them drawers in the trash. Left the venue. Told everybody don’t get in the car with me. I need to be in that car by myself with the driver.”
Peep the full clip below.
